Community

So, I have something to talk about. This is why a lot of anorexics like myself never get better, or at least have a very very hard time getting better. The community that comes with it. In normal society, I know I feel like nobody understands my need to be thin. When I try and talk about it with my friends about it, they just tell me "just eat" like it's easy. Eating is one of the most painful, embarrassing, and disgusting things in my life. I'm not bulimic but, honestly..when I eat around people or I see people eating, it makes me feel physically sick and I sometimes have to throw up cause I just can't help it. It's like when you see/smell something really gross and suddenly have to vomit. But, when you go on Tumblr, Facebook, YouTube, Blogspot, anywhere, there's a community of people who think the same way you do.

You can post that your doing a liquid fast, for example, and people will comment and do it with you. When you post that you've lost weight or gotten to one of your goal weights, even though you're doing it in an unhealthy way, everyone's so happy for you. You post progress pictures and your favorite thinspo's and people support them entirely. They don't force you to eat, in face , they almost encourage you not to...which yes-isn't healthy...but it's support and they understand when you're having a hard time and they understand when you've eaten that day and feel like a failure. The support system, however unhealthy, in the world of eating disorders is massive.

This is why it's so hard to leave these people, you grow to care about them, and you want to know when they reach their goal weights and when they're having days where they feel like they can't do it, and they feel the same about you. It makes you feel so good about yourself. It makes you feel like you're not alone.