Group

Hello again all! Quick update on my physical health: My vitals have continued to be stable and are improving, I've seen my nutritionist twice now and my new therapist 3 times, and my doctor countless times! I earned 1 work out back a few weeks ago (30 minute run and 15 minutes of weights) and last time I went I earned another! I decided to move that to go for 1 work out a week at the gym but for longer (45 minute run and 15 minutes of weights) I really wanna work up to an hour of running again....I miss it<3 Since my body's been getting what it needs I've gained soo much muscle-it's ridiculous(ly awesome)

 I love feeling healthy and not feeling as though I'm about to faint all the time but at the same time I can't help but to occasionally enjoy the familiar numbing feeling of hunger...

SO. To the main point of this post, tomorrow I start going to group sessions. If I remember correctly the group has 3 other girls besides me (don't quote me on that) and it's not specifically for teens with eating disorders but for teens who have serious body image issues and could be approaching serious eating disorders or have already fallen into the trap of eating disorders. That's me!

I'm not gonna lie...I'm nervous, I am a little worried that possibly hearing the other girls talk about their experience and talking about mine might trigger me. Just the thought of hearing how much weight the other girls may have lost compared to how much I'd lost, freaks me out and makes me wanna lose more. I also admit that I do skip the occasional meal/snack when I'm feeling depressed just because I honestly can't handle food when I'm depressed-it stresses me out to no end to eat.

Sigh...I'm tired, it's been a busy and amazing weekend that I will never forget! I'll post when I can and tell you all how group went.

-Madeline